Who Are You Talking To?

The most common thing I always hear about me is that I can be very direct.  I am not direct because I intend to be hurtful, I am direct because in my own life I have found that when people sugar coat things I can miss the significance of the message.  And when I say direct I never mean rude, hurtful, and/or disrespectful. Say there are a group of children that are running around playing and an adult enters the room and says, "sit down!" Regardless to how stern, loud or soft it is said, every child will not stop playing and running to sit down.  Why? Because you made a nonspecific statement that did not address them directly.  So sometimes, while sugar talk gets the attention, it never goes beyond an emotional and superficial reply.  When I talk to anyone, I listen for what they are telling me to help me be better and I want to make sure I am helping them as well.  I never believe that relationships are one sided.  Any person who feels that they are only a teacher and never a student has already limited his or her growth potential. As I become older in life and in my relationship with Christ, I found that the more honest people were about me, not just hurtful negative lies, but comments that were designed to pierce the filthiness of my heart and cause me to see areas I needed to change the more I began to make necessary changes.  Were there times I shed tears because I had been misjudged? More than I can count.  But more importantly I had to learn to see if there was any truth to what was said about me.  Even if it was said from a place of hurt, anger or hatred, was there any truth to what was said?  Those thoughts caused me to go back and review what was said.  Could I be better?  Was this some part of me that was on display that I was not aware of? Was part of what was on display something I felt I needed to protect me from being hurt?  Was there more in me than what I thought I knew?  Could I complete things that I had dropped from fear of success? You better believe it! And it shows me areas I can be healed in truly and not put on an act to please anyone. There is a magnificent lie that says "in order for someone to confront you or challenge you in an area we must first have a budding relationship."  I call that a lie because anyone can see something that can help you and tell you about it.  If you came out of the restroom with tissue hanging out of your pants, or your skirt tucked in your underwear, or tissue stuck to your shoe you would not care who told you to keep you from being embarrassed.  So why can't that be true in making us be a better person rather than a fleeting physical appearance of having it all together?  The truth of the matter is that hearing something about us that challenges the lies, good or bad, that we have built about ourselves is hard.  10 times out of 10.5 it is easier to believe a lie rather than change for the better. Better has become some far away magical land that most people feel like they can't get to.  We often mistake spending money on more clothes, shoes, cars and trying to make our social appearance look better with being a better person.  I saw today a reality show where one woman was very rich and lived a luxury life....but she has had cancer 3 times, lost her mother, her father has dementia and she can't have the children she desperately wants.  Another person married very well off, to a man who always cheats on her and does not care about who knows.   These women have all of the material things most sit home or try to club hop and acquire without seeing the other side of material things.  Better is not a material location but a lifestyle change. We all have room to be better.  We have room to change.  In change coming, be open to those who may not know you as a avenue to provide some insight to areas and things we may need to change or ideas we can consider.  Also stop listening to the lie that says some people don't like you because they are jealous of you.  Some people do not care for you because you are arrogant, condescending and plain nasty.  NOTHING...NO THING we own gives us the right to feel like we are better than anyone else.  So the next time truth about you approaches you, be a challenge for you to see what you have good going in your life or that bad disposition that needs to be changed, consider it.  It's okay to change and be better.  It is okay that it may take you in a different direction that you thought.  But know and believe change is always available.

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