I’m going to talk about me in hope that you can relate to my experience in some way. I have been a work in progress all my life and I am thankful for the loving way that God gets my attention so I can participate in my change. It is easy to see the mote that in someone else’s eye while trying to act as though we are blind to the one in ours. In order for God to sanctify us, which a lifelong process, He helps us by showing us the things He will clean and the things we must give up. Why do I say give up? Because a lot of things, if we are honest, God has given us the capacity to do better and yet we chose to remain displeasing to Him because we are comfortable in that space.
At my church we are taught the word and the posture of praise and worship we are to have when coming to worship and hear from God. (This is not to imply that your church doesn’t, I am talking about me remember 😊.) For years we have been made aware that sitting through praise and worship praising God based on our preference of worship leader, intercessor, and speaking in that moment. As a leader, we are to model our relationship so this should not be evident among us. Being on the praise team means that I am often leading, but for years I never look at the audience unless it is a certain person who is attentive. It started out as being insecure in the place were God placed me, but that is another post.
I normally lead and focus on the sound technicians because they are always smiling and paying attention, so they are a friendly face for me so to speak. I recall on Sunday after my Pastor spoke to direct leadership regarding our ability to sit and look with closed mouths as the praises of God went up. Not all, but some. It was God reminding us through our Pastor that God has no respect of persons and He is the reason why we come to worship or should be. And yet afterwards when church begin, there sat some of those same individuals aloof in worship again. I was like how?! Then God in His wisdom allowed me to have to sit through an exaltation from someone who is not my preference (because I need to grow up) and it affected how I celebrated the person who was being honored. This is one of the many reasons why I love God!!!! He never allows me to sit in my self-righteousness and think that I am okay. He always allows me to see myself and presents the opportunity to grow, again. Sometimes my delayed growth is not because I have been presented the opportunity, but it is because I am not truly convinced that I need to change in that area. I thank Him for correcting that and allowing me to see it how He knows it.
It makes us comfortable to talk about us without inserting the “y’all act like I’m the only one” but I refrain from that because I feel it is how we comfort ourselves in our wrong sometimes. I believe if God allows me to share something about me and my process, it will find the heart it is sent to minister to. One thing I realized through God opening my eyes about my behavior is that I gave that person complete control over my actions in that moment. The honor that was due to that person was stifled and belittled by me in that moment because I couldn’t hear the celebration for listening to the war within. This caused me to ask myself some questions. How many times have I come to worship God and focused so much on the messenger that I neglected to praise Him because He is Holy, and Righteous, and Sovereign? Who did I give control of my life over to other than God? Who did I allow to switch seats on the throne of my life? Who was I worshiping instead of God when I was presented the opportunity to celebrate Him and Him alone? It was not until I had these questions to answer that I saw the need to make the adjustment Christ has been trying to make all along.
So, God thank You for showing me myself and giving me the grace to change. Thank You for giving me another chance to get it right and to celebrate You every chance I am given. Thank you that you show me how Your love is not based on my preferences but based on Your grace and choice of us. Thank You for straightening me and being the Master Teacher. Thank You for the right way of living. Thank You that You are making us worthy daily.
Seeing it as You know it to be,