Just Be Honest

Let me start off with the wonderful thing about our relationship with Jesus Christ, we can come boldly and honestly to Him and He will never change His mind about us. Romans 5:8 says, "But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." That is confidence in knowing that He gave His life for me when I was not even thinking about trying to please Him. And Hebrews 4:16 says, "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." This means I can come to Him and tell Him anything knowing He will help me. I find that even with this knowledge, it is sometimes in my nature to try and hide how I am feeling from God because He is HOLY. I don't want to disappoint Him with my emotions that are not pleasing to Him or the mindset I may have had all day. I find myself sometimes trying to come to God in perfection. Like I have had a great day and attitude all day. Trying to show God that I can be better as I also ask Him to help me be better. It can seem like I am sometimes trying to convince God that I am worthy of His saving grace through Jesus Christ. And that just shows me how much I need to make sure the Word of God moves from knowledge to wisdom, to move from reciting verse of scripture to living them in honesty. To remembering that God asks me to mature as I try to model the example Jesus Christ with the help of the Holy Spirit. Even in that, I fail Him in some (or several) ways daily. I wake up to new mercy (Lamentations 3:22-23) and still I get things wrong. And I would love to say I immediately correct the wrong behavior/action/mindset, but sometimes it takes me a few hours to get back on track. To be really honest there have been days that I was off in some way and I wasn't always seeking God's way. But when I came to myself, I realized God's mercy kept me and I realized I can also be honest with Him about what was going on with me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in that moment. In recent months I have been making sure to confess to God everything. No more trying to get myself together before I talk to God about all of me. It is a process. It is a journey. It is a step in my healing and freedom that God has given me as His child. I do not have it all together and some days I do struggle, but I am committed to being an active participant in every way in my relationship with Christ. I know I am growing and learning, but I trust God as Father and King. I know that He will not cast me away and that there is no shadow of turning with Him - ever. Open and honest in His presence, Sonia

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