I Don't Like It but God Has Me In It.....

These past few weeks have been stressful for me a little greater than I have experienced in a while.  I did of lot of pleading and praying that the situation would just pass and leave me alone. I sat in my car with my face in my hands, reached out for help from others I knew who have overcome the same stressors, and finally I poured out my heart to God.  It was in those moments I realized that when we allow stress to overtake us, all types of negative thoughts begin to run through our minds.  We feel all types of negative emotions, and if we do not control our emotions and not give in to stress, we feel worse and worse as the stress takes its hold on us, first emotionally and then naturally.

As the stress was being to consume my mind, the first thing thought that came with it was being worried about how to fight and win without becoming emotionally undone. It then went to feeling like there should have been certain people to support me through this moment, and what actions I could take to show them.  It took a God encounter breaking through in a difficult moment to realize that this warfare is bigger than me.  It took those hours of waiting with no one there physically with me for me to understand God's divine plan for me and how His plan will bring me to a wealthy place in Him alone. And to be completely honest, this assurance from God did not make me any more willing to endure, but helped me to trust God through this very uncomfortable process.

I am not a firm believer in the "some people don't like you, are jealous of you because they know your future" routine.  There are some things we do in life that are just offensive to others.  The Bible says in Luke 17:1 "Then He said unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come."  We often like to skip the part that tells us what is going to happen to get to the part where we wish ill will to those who have offended us, but lets take this piece by piece.  Offenses will come! And to be completely honest with ourselves, most times, we are the offender.  Even when people are laughing at your jokes and seemingly careless attitude, you have offended someone some where.  No matter how much we strive to be the life of the party, the best listener ever, the boy with all the friends, the girl who can do anything, we are still offensive.  Don't worry, it is true that God in His mercy will deal with those who offend us as He lovingly deals with us as we offend others.  But most times rather than deal with being offensive and being offended, we decide to just believe the worse about the person and situation rather than ask God for the lesson He wants to teach us.

There was a young girl who got in trouble for participating in a "debate" she should have not been in and when asked what did she learn she said, "not to trust people because they will switch out on you."  I looked at her and said, "so basically you learned nothing."  When we make our learning all about the other person and what they have done wrong, oh how we miss the growth opportunity for ourselves.  We fail to first forgive as quickly as we like to be forgiven, and then we continually feel like until they have paid what we feel they owe can they ever be free.  Thank God He is not like we are at all!

After allowing the Holy Spirit to comfort my heart, I decided first to live on anyway.  I decided stop stressing and trust God, but more importantly to still believe the best about people even when I am offended.  I decided to stop feeling like "people" have the power to control how God loves me or His plan for my life.  I have decided that whatever God has already decided is for His glory that works in my favor. So I trust Him even though I do not like the process I am in. And I love that He allows me to tell Him how I feel without casting me away. I trust that even in this the authority of God is never in question. I am also thankful for His help while He brings me out better then when I started this journey.  God has given us those who will be there to help us, remind us of His word when we can't hear, and to be the place of accountability.

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