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Broken

A few years ago my leg was broken in a car accident. At the time of the accident I didn't know it was broken because the pain in my face was so much greater in the moment that I didn't feel it. But as the paramedics came to remove me from the car, I felt the pain and it superseded every other pain I was feeling. None of the other pains when away, this pain was just greater. On the way to the ER, I could not lay flat like they needed me to, even with the neck brace and stiff board, because it required my leg to lay flat and it was too painful. When I got to the emergency room the attending physician was looking a little confused because I was so poorly positioned on the board, and if anything else was wrong it would surely be out of place.


As they got me into an emergency room, the doctor came in to do his assessment and ask me questions. Visually, there was an abrasion on my eyelid and across my neck and shoulder from the force of impact. But because of the pain of my leg I was not aware that I had any abrasions at that time. No matter what questions he asked, my responses ended with, "something is wrong with my leg! Please check my leg!" He kept telling me he had to complete a visual assessment but he had tests ordered that included the leg. While I understood the process, his promise of finding why my leg was hurting provided me no relief. I wanted the pain to stop immediately.


They gave me enough pain medicine in order to appease me, so I felt, but any slight movement brought thee most horrible pain in my leg. Finally I was sent to X-ray and for a MRI to see everything that could not be seen with the natural eye. And there were the results. My face had no broken bones (serious force of impact), but my tibula was broken close to my knee. He proceeded to bring this huge bulky brace to put on my leg until I could get to an orthopedic doctor in Jacksonville as I was out of town, but I'll share that in another post.


Upon my brother and sister coming to get me because the car was totaled, I was rolled to their car with no crutches or anything, with follow-up instructions within the next two days. Because I was so focused on the pain, I totally missed that I didn't have crutches or a cane or anything to help me other than the wheelchair that was staying with them. I realized when I got home and looked at the stairs that having no type of assistance was going to be a problem. Nevertheless, I figured out a way to get up the flight of stairs.


Waiting on the orthopedic appointment I decided to stop taking the strong pain medicine because it was final exam time at school. I switched myself to Motrin. It didn't really help much but I could stay awake and listen to recordings of review lectures. Then the orthopedic doctor's appointment came and I was super happy to go. He was extremely thorough and already had the X-ray from the hospital in Daytona Beach. He came in and asked me how I was feeling and my pain levels. I told him it was pretty painful and I was taking the Motrin and why. He said to me, "stop taking the Motrin because it is preventing the bone from healing and has slowed down any progress. He also took the awkward fitting brace from me and told me, " where your leg is broken there is no brace or cast that would be beneficial to healing. It does not need to be surgically reset, it will heal on over a period of time naturally. I'm going to give you some crutches for support and that is all you will need. I will see you in about three weeks." And with a gentle handshake he was gone and the appointment finished.


This is how God used this "accident." The bone that was broken in my leg was not the weight bearing bone, but if I put any unnecessary pressure on it while it was healing, I would feel it. I had medicine that would control the pain and I took myself off of it for what appeared to be valid reasons, but the medicine I SELF PRESCRIBED prevented the bone from healing! It slowed done the process and would keep me on crutches even longer. As it is in the natural, it was in my spirit.


I was broken yet I had come up with all of these things to prescribe healing to myself. I was treating my brokenness with church service that would only reduce the pain of "inflammation" but it delayed healing. Whew! How many things was I medicating myself with that was masking the pain but not repairing the break? How many bloody bandages was I wearing while putting on my church service hoping to be healed as I "worked for the Master?" The work was just putting a fresh bandage over a bloody one praying it wouldn't get infected, and some times the bloody "bandages" had a stench that affected others.

After walking and limping for months, and being frustrated at not being able to walk without assistance, I decided that the prescribed course of treatment just might work. That maybe the doctor knew a thing or two. And as I followed his instructions, the bone healed on the timeline he gave me. No matter how much I declared it felt better and stronger, every X-ray until the sixth month mark showed the bone was still broken. Much like my "church work." No matter how much I did or tried to, I was still broken and in need of healing, and that was one thing that work does not provide - healing. I had to conclude that God knows how to heal the broken places in my life, but I had to admit I needed to be healed, His way.....




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